


Never Regret

by moretrash



Series: Virgil Gets Hugs [5]
Category: Sanders Sides, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Arguments, Cuddling, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of sex but nothing graphic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-17 10:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12364074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moretrash/pseuds/moretrash
Summary: Virgil still finds it shocking that he was accepted so willingly into this relationship. But he loves it, and he's never regretted it.





	1. Chapter 1

Virgil wasn't sure when he had turned to being uncomfortable and awkward to melting into embraces. From snapping defensively and shutting himself away to spilling his feelings and allowing himself reassurance.

But he liked it. He wasn't required to shut everyone out anymore.

Despite this, it had been a long process to get to where he was.

The others knew that a lot of contact made him uncomfortable, and never once have they tried to push his boundaries. And for this, Virgil was eternally gratefulm

They all had different ways of cuddling at first.

Patton's cuddling was messy and fun. He would hold Virgil against his chest. Both pairs of legs would be spread out in random positions. Of course, Patton could hardly ever resist the urge to tickle Virgil's sides, leaving him a giggling mess. Overall, Patton's cuddles were the most laid back.

However, Roman's weren't very calculated either. He often let Virgil pick the position that he wanted to sit in, whether that be at his side or on his lap. He would hold him securely, occasionally rubbing his back or running his fingers through the slightly messy hair. Sometimes, Virgil even managed to drift off to sleep in the position.

Logan's were the most calculated. They were almost stiff. He would wrap his arms around Virgil's midsection, holding him securely. He would position his legs according to where Virgil's were, so as to best make Virgil comfortable even at the expense of his own comfort. However, it was relaxing to be able to just lay against someone, not having to deal with the feeling of being touched all the much. While he didn't mind it, it still made him a bit antsy early on in their relationship. Logan was the one Virgil went to when he really needed sleep after days of worrying about everything and hardly sleeping. It was easy to fall asleep in his arms.

As their relationship progressed, Virgil's comfort zone did too. He was less nervous about cuddling as time went on, and he felt calmer around the other sides. Besides this, he knew that it was okay to cry around them.

And he knew it was because he had seen it in front of his eyes.

He didn't know how or ahen he started crying. It was just a series of bad days and sleepless nights that put him on edge and made him constantly on the verge of an emotional break.

And one day it broke.

He wasn't sure what had set it off, either. But once he had started, he couldn't stop. He collapsed into a fit of sobs and hitching gasps, hugging himself and burrowing closer into his hoodie for some sense of comfort.

The others had stared at him in pure shock for several moments before moving. Patton had wrapped Virgil in a hug, rocking him gently. Roman had been quick to wrap a blanket around the sobbing trait and turning on the TV to distract him from whatever it was that had made him cry so hard, before settling down on Virgil's other side and hugging him as well.

Logan had grabbed a glass of water for Virgil. After all, it was easy to get dehydrated when crying, and it was even easier when he knew that Virgil was almost always dehydrated. Not to a dangerous point, but it was a well known fact that he didn't drink nearly enough. He had held the glass to Virgil's lips, helping him drink because it was clear that Virgil was struggling to stop crying. From there, he had kissed all over his face in barely-there kisses.

They never pushed Virgil to talk about what had upset him. They simply sat there until Virgil was ready to talk. And when he had been ready, they had given him their undivided attention.

And he knew, in that moment, that they cared for him. They would never let his emotions come second.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil gets sick, and he learns more about what its like to be loved.

When Virgil woke up, the first thing that he registered was the fact that he felt like crap. His body felt weighed down, as though it were made of lead. His head felt fuzzy and it was hard to concentrate on anything. He had a pounding headache. His hoodie was too hot but not hot enough at the same time. His nose was running. He was shivering. His throat felt like someone had run a motorized sanding machine on it. All signs pointed to one thing: he was sick.

The second thing that he registered was that he desperately wanted his lovers. Of course, with how he was feeling, he wouldn't be surprised if his voice came out as little more than a whisper even if he yelled. He could text them. What time was it, again?

Oh, right. It was four in the morning. It was way too early for any of them to be awake, much less to hear their text tones go off.

He could call one of them? No, that would wake them up. He didn't want to wake them up. But god, it felt like he was going to die if he wasn't cuddled and helped in the next few minutes. Was that too much to ask for?

In the past, they had never minded when he woke them up. But maybe they did? Maybe they were only helping him in a we-don't-want-to-feel-like-horrible-people-for-not-helping-you-when-you're-so-miserable sort of thing. But maybe they could help him and not be mad about it? He'd seen them do it. He'd seen how they would stay up all night to help a sick side, always there when they needed it. Why couldn't it apply to him?

It could, he realized. All he had to do was sink into their room and wake them up. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

With this thought in mind, he sank into Patton's room, staring at the peacefully sleeping man for a moment. He was so calm, Virgil felt horrible about wanting to wake him.

The feeling of eyes on his back woke Patton up. He rolled over, staring at Virgil in shock for a moment. The poor man almost looked like he had been through hell and back.

Patton sat up, reaching forward and grabbing Virgil's hand. "Honey, you're burning up! Lay down." He said, nudging Virgil so that he was laying back on the dangerously soft bed. 

Virgil jerked when he heard Patton's voice, but could do nothing but let Patton lay him down. He was just too tired at that point.

He could barely register that Patton had gotten Roman and Logan. He did notice when Roman started to cuddle him, and he noticed when Logan asked him to swallow cold and flu medicine. It felt like fire against his throat, but Logan help him soothe the pain a bit with water. 

He couldn't really remember what happened for several hours. All he knew was that every time he woke up, someome was always there with comfort, medicine, and water. 

When he could do more than sleep and take medicine, he realized that they were all there because they wanted to be. Not because they had to be. Roman was cudsling him bwcause he wanted to, not being he had to. Logan was reading his book out loud not because he had to, but because he wanted too. Patton wasn't rushing from place to place with medicine because he had to.

A feeling that was undeniably good blossomed in Virgil's gut. So this was what it was like to feel loved. They all wanted to help him. And he could never be more grateful.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil learns a lot through their intimate moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains mentions of sex but nothing graphic

Virgil hardly understood how they could be so patient. Ot was obvious that they wanted to have sex with him.

However, they waited. They waited patiently until Virgil was ready, never once trying to push him. They assured him that they would never do anything without his complete and total consent.

Virgil appreciated it. He was a bit uncomfortable about it for several months. It made him uncomfortable to take off his clothes for quite a while, he couldn't imagine going further than sleeping shirtless. 

And even when he was ready, they didn't just jumo straight to it. They had all had a conversation about their differemt boundaries. He saw Patton more serious than he's ever been in that conversation.

And he learned that boundaries were respected in this relationship. It was strange, he always believed that people would ignore your boundaries at some point.

He also learned that boundaries could change.

It was a shock to him that you could change your boundaries. What you weren't comfortable with before could change.

He also learned that they ask for consent every time that they had sex. Not only that, but they respected it. He was shacked at how patient and accepting the other sides were when Roman had said that he didn't want to one night. Instead of protesting, they had just nodded and assured him that it was fine, kissing him and letting him leave the room when he wanted to.

And when they experimented with different things, they always asked for consent, too. And they insisted that it be verbal, citing that a lack or response didn't always mean consent.

When they did have sex, they were gentle and loving, treating him like the most precious object on the planet. They paid special attention to his insecurities, helping him see that he was unique and great.

When they were done, they cuddled him until he fell asleep, safe and secure in their arms.

They always asked for consent when they had more than one round, too.

Virgil loved it. He loved that theae wonderful people cared about his comfort over their pleasure. And the same thing applied to everyone else.

They always reassured him that he was special, and that he was loved. And Virgil loved it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil realizes that each side has their own specific scent, and it just serves to remind him that they're there, and they'll never leave.

Virgil loves getting cuddled, and that isn't a scret anymore. Now, it isn't surprising if he just climbs into someone's lap and latches on, like a koala bear would to a tree.

Most of the time, his presses his face into their shoulder, slumping in relaxation. For the first few times, he doesn't register anything but the fact that he's loved, and that he's being cared for. That they're willingly touching him.

Its not until a few weeks into their relationship when he notices that scents. Everyone had a different scent that was so distinctly them, and Virgil wouldn't have it any other way.

Patton smells like the detergent smell that lingers on freshly washed clothes. He smells like a home cooked meal and somehow, he smells like smiles and laughter. He smells like freshly cut grass on a lawn on a hot summer day. The scents are balanced into everything that smells like a home, like safety amd comfort. And it suits Patton so well. He's a family oriented guy, the dad friend of them all. Its no surprise that he smells like a home.

Logan smells like a brand new book. He smells like pen ink on a sheet of paper. He smells like black coffee and printer paper. He smells of a story that has yet to be told. He smells like a clean room and rows of books on a bookshelf. He smells like a shirt that just came off of the ironing board. He smells like the air in the fresh morning. Its so Logan, all the smells that Virgil associates with schools and learning. It suits Logan.

Virgil isn't all that surprised that Roman's is the most regal set of smells. He smells like a crackling fire on a cold winter day. He smells like a stone castle in the forest. He smells like pine trees. A scent that is vaguely floral makes its way in too, and Virgil can't quite place what it is. He smells like a calm ocean and sand between your toes on a beach.

Most of his decisions on who to cuddle with depend on the scent he wants that time. Sometimes, its the scemt of learning and knowledge that draws Virgil to Logan. Sometimes, Virgil wants a scent of home and love, and he goes to Patton. Sometimes, he wants the scent of a fairytale that hasn't yet been told, and he goes to Roman.

Sometimes, he wonders what he smells like to them.

If he asked, the others would all give the same answer. They would say that he smells like the world just before the first raindrops fall. That he smells like a still winter morning, when you look out and the world is covered in a blanket of white, unmarred by the hustle and bustle of everyday life. That he smells like a well worn and loved piece of clothing.

Its so Virgil, and they love it. They love burying their noses in his hair and breathing in the scent that they haven't been able to smell before.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil is having a bad day. Patton is a bean, and the others try their best.
> 
> (Loosely based on the one line that Patton says in Accepting Anxiety p1 where he says something like "Anxiety, come on out kiddo!")

Virgil didn't join them at breakfast one morning.

While he still didn't have the best sleeping habits, they had mostly evened out thanks to Logan's help. He almost always turned up at some point during breakfast. When he didn't, they got worried now.

But, against their better judgement, they had decided to leave it alone. Maybe Virgil just wasn't awake yet. That was understandable, he still had the occasional late night.

They got truly worried when he didn't show up for lunch. Even when he had late nights, he was always awake before lunch.

It was Patton who went to visit his room, a plate in his hand. The plate had a sandwich, chips, and a cookie on it for Virgil's lunch.

He opened the door after knocking a few times, and what he saw worried him greatly. Virgil was curled up on his bed, almost completely covered by his blanket, not moving. Patton hadn't seen him like this since before they were all in a relationship.

Patton set the plate on the desk in the corner of the room and crouched in front of Virgil, his eyes tender and worried.

"Kiddo, is something wrong?" He asked worriedly. He wasn't entirely surprised when Virgil shrugged his shoulders. Sometimes, it was just an unexplainable feeling, and that was okay.

"Alright. Do you wanna come on out of that cocoon you have going there? It looks awfully hot." He asked, keeping his voice soft. Again, he wasn't surprised when Virgil shook his head, pulling the blankets closer to him.

Patton couldn't help but giggle a bit.

"Alright. I brought you lunch, do you want some?" He asked. He grinned when Virgil nodded, glad that he was taking care of his needs for once.

He brought the plate over and fed small bites of food to the anxious trait when it became clear that he wasn't going to come out of his cocoon. His brown eyes had been flicking helplessly between Patton and the plate.

It was then that Roman and Logan came in. Firstly, they wanted to make sure that Virgil was okay, and they also wanted to make sure that Patton was okay since he'd been in there for a while.

With Virgil's consent, they pressed into his sides, Logan massaging the tight knots in his back and Roman running his hands through his hair.

Before they were in a relationship, they didn't know a lot about anxiety, or anything other than decent mental health in general. Since then, they'd learned that sometimes there were days when you felt that you couldn't get out of bed, among many other things.

Virgil would always be grateful for the effort they put into learning about him and what came with being the embodiment of anxiety and negativity in general.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sides get into an argument, and Virgil learns that an argument doesn't always mean the end of a relationship.

In hindsight, Virgil probably should have asked permission to do what he did. He didn't think it'd be this big of a deal, honestly.

He had a habit of taking pieces of the other sides' clothing. It was small, honestly. A cardigan from Patton, a sash from Roman, a shirt from Logan. He honestly though it'd be okay. After all, he always saw everyone else wearing someone else's clothes, and it was always fine with them. He shouldn't have thought that it applied to him as well.

It was just a comfort type of thing, so he had the scent of someone else near him when he was awake in the middle of the night and his anxiety was spiraling.

But apparently, nothing applied to him like it normally did for the others.

Because one day, Roman had absolutely lost it on the other sides.

"Who took my sash?! That one was my favorite and whoever has it should better hand it over or they will be sacrified to the dragon witch!" He threatened. 

That sounded horrifying to Virgil, who's eyes were flicking to and from the other two sides, praying that by some off chance they had the favorite sash instead of him. Alas, it wasn't the case, and Logan and Patton looked confused when Roman started to shout.

Patton smiled uneasily. "Actually, on the topic of missing clothes, one of my cardigans is missing. Do any of you happen to have it?" He asked sweetly. Virgil felt his blood running cold and his heart stopping in his chest.

Logan tilted his head. "Well, that's certainly odd. I'm missing one of my shirts as well. Virgil, are you missing a piece of clothing t--" he realized that Virgil was no longer in the room with them.

Virgil had long since gotten up and hid in his room, the clothes bundled up on his lap. He was clutching them in a death grip, his eyes closed as if that would block him from the rest of the world. Oh god, what if they were angry at him? They'd kick him out of the relationship.

And he would be alone again. He deserved it. He'd deserve the pang of yearning and sadness that would attack his gut whenever he saw the three cuddling together on the couch. But he was in no way allowed to join. And he'd deserve it.

His thoughts attacked his mind, leaving him deaf from the multiple hands that were banging on his door, desperately trying to get in. When did he lock the door? Probably when he walked in.

Virgil felt tears sliding down his face, smearing the dark makeup down his cheeks. His lips quivered with the effort of keeping in sobs.

Roman's voice penetrated his thoughts. "Virgil, let us in! If you have our clothes, give them back!" Oh god, he sounded angry. This was the end. Weeks of happiness and fun all gone because of his idiotic mistake.

Better to get it over with, he decided. He got up and unlocked the door, not having time to step out of the way before hard wood collided with his nose, a cry of pain escaping him. He wasn't surprised when he felt blood tricking down his face.

The voices were all around him. Roman's angrily ranting voice by his bed, where the clothes were still laying. Logan's voice trying to calm Roman down. Patton's voice in an odd state between angry about the clothes and worried about Virgil. And somewhere in there was Virgil's own voice, sobbed apologies making their way past his lips.

All movement and sound froze at that, the only sound being Virgil's soft sobs.

This was it. They were all going to break up with him.

But that wasn't the case at all.

Patton's voice came first. "Oh my goodness, Virgil! Are you okay?! No, you're obviously not okay. Logan, get some tissues!"

A pair of arms wrapped their way around Virgil's torso, whispered words in his ear sounding like comfort and a soothing scent of a home. Not that he could smell much beyond the metallic scent of blood.

Roman's voice, awkward and unsure. "Virgil, love? Oh fuck, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to get this mad. I'm so sorry. What happened to you nose?"

A hand running through his hair, a pair of lips pressing to his temples and the scent of a forest.

Logan's coice, calm and calculated. "Virgil, don't tip your head back. The blood could run down your throat amd you'll choke."

A wad of tissues pressed to his nose, a hand wiping away the tears, a soothing hum and the scent of research.

What was this? Were they helping him just before they dumped him? That wasn't fair. That was building hope.

The tears slowed down, his mind opening to the others around him. They didn't look mad. They looked... worried?

Roman spoke first.

"Hey, my love, can we come to a compromise? That sash is my favorite. Can I take it and switch it out with a different one? I'm not mad, I promise. I was just surprised." He said.

Virgil found himself nodding. Footsteps left the room, coming back a few minutes later eith a different sash.

Roman wasn't mad. How was that?

Logan spoke next.

"You had us very worried, Virgil. We've never not been able to get into your room before. We were so worried that something was wrong." He said softly. Virgil found himself apologizing again.

Patton spoke last.

"Virgil, kiddo, we aren't mad. We were just surprised and worried. Honestly, we don't mind if you have our clothes. But next time, let us know if you don't plan on returning it for a while, okay?" He said, his voice temder amd patient. Virgil nodded a bit, his eyes darting to the different sides.

"You... you aren't leaving me?" He voice was soft, cracking, confused.

And the chaos started again.

"Virgil, whatever made you think we were going to leave you?"

"Love, argumemts happen. This isn't us leaving you."

"Oh, kiddo, we love you! We would never leave you for something like this!"

Virgil found himself grinning. They loved him. He loved this warm feeling that filled him.

They made up with a large cuddle pile. Virgil was stuck between Patton and Logan, and Roman was protectively hugging them from behind Logan.

This was perfect.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan has a nightmare, and Virgil learns how to comfort another person.

Virgil had always thought that he was the only one who had nightmares. Apparently, that was not the case. He always thought that Roman, Patton, and Logan always had good dreams, and he was restricted to nightmares that left him screaming into the still night air.

But he was quickly proven wrong.

Virgil made a habit of sleeping with another side. He was comforted by the presence of another person next to him while he slept. It just reminded him that he wasn't alone.

He liked Patton's room for its ability to put him to sleep nearly instantly, and for having what is probably the softest blanket known to man.

He liked Roman's room for its abilty to put together intricate dreams or appear as a place where he'd like to sleep, such as a forest.

He liked Logan's room for its origins in reality. There was nothing... unreal about it. There were bookshelves that were all filled with nonfiction books, plain blankets and walls and furniture.

And that's exactly where he was tonight.

He supposed he was woken up by Logan shifting several times in his sleep. That was odd, Logan hardly ever moved in his sleep.

But he was glad that he did. Soft, nearly silent whimpers penetrated the night air, so full of fear and pain that Virgil almost thought that they were from himself for a moment. But they weren't. They were from Logan, and that worried him.

He wrapped his arms around Logan, squeezing a bit.

Logan's eyes flew open and he thrashed in Virgil's grip, hating the feeling of being so restricted. Virgil pulled away immediately, his hands instead running through his hair.

Virgil wasn't all that surprised when Logan started to thrash. But he was surprised ahen he suddenly found his lap amd arms filled with Logan's whimpering, sobbing form.

Without a single moment of hesitation, Virgil wrapped his arms around Logan, rubbing his back. He wasn't sure if Logan liked it, but they always did that for himself when he had a nightmare. And apparently Logan liked it, if the way his whimpers and sobs were relaxing said anything.

Logan curled up tighter to Virgil, shivering. He relaxed even more when the blanket was pulled over his shoulder and tucked around him. He couldn't help but rest his head on Virgil's shoulder.

And Virgil didn't force him to speak. Not that he wanted to, anyway. But he did offer to listen, and Logan assumed that the offer was genuine. After all, Virgil was a great listener. But he still didn't want to talk, and Virgil never forced him to.

He had no clue where Virgil had learned to comfort other people.

Little did he know that Virgil had never comforted another person until ten minutes prior, and he was simply going off of what other people did for him.


End file.
